Toys- A story 

Her mother was shouting from the kitchen,”you are sixteen now, stop sleeping with this teddy bear, behave like grownups. Concentrate on your high school studies and keep your toys in the locker now”. Ignoring her mother’s scolding for the 100th time, she hugged her bear and slept cozily on Sunday afternoon.

Everyone knew Ishita’s obsession with her soft toys, she had declared that the day she grows up, she will never touch another of her soft toy; which people thought will never happen. And why will anyone want Ishita to grow up? She was the happiest and the most fun “kid” to be around. Ishita was in class 12th this year, like any other teenager, she had a dream of attending college and pursuing a career of her choice. She took part in every extra curricular activity in school. She was friends with every person, teachers-students-drivers and whatnot! She lived like there was no tomorrow and everyone loved her.

Rohan, Ishita’s big brother was equally famous in his college and the brother sister duo had friends, which no one knew the count of. Rohan’s study took him to another city.

“I don’t know, I want to commute to the classes by my scooter or I will not attend classes” Ishita declared to her father.

“You are too young to drive, understand this” her mother interrupted in middle.

“No, you say I’m a grown up and I should not play with toys anymore, I want my scooter, I want it, want it, want it..”she stormed into her room with tears in her eyes.

Two weeks later, Ishita got her scooter and she bought a small soft toy as her scooter’s key chain. Though her mother asked her to keep the toys aside, she secretly hoped that they’d never leave her side.

One day, when Ishita came out of her classes, she noticed the tires of her scooter slashed. It was early afternoon, she thought instead of troubling her dad, she will get the tires repaired herself and maybe brag about it later. Ishita dragged the scooter from her classes to the repair shop.

“It will take 2-3 hours to repair your scooter madam” as the mechanic examined the tyres suspiciously, he asked “Do you know who made these cut in the tyres?”

Tired from all the dragging and not knowing the answer, Ishita didn’t say anything. She decided to go home by cab and later pick up the scooter with her dad.

As she turned to leave for home, a similar face walked towards her and offered her help. Confused, she recognised the boy as Rohan’s friend.

“Hi Ishita, I saw you from distance, you seem to be in trouble, do you need any help?” The guy asked.

“Hi,I was just leaving for home as my scooter has some problem”

“Oh, surprisingly I’m also going to a place near your house, come I’ll drop you”

“Thank you brother, but I’ll take a cab, I don’t want to trouble you” Ishita said confused because she didn’t know if she should trust the guy she barely know.

“It’s ok baby girl, I’ve to buy some medicines for my daughter…”

Cutting the guy short, she excitedly started asking him questions “Oh wow, you have a daughter? How old is she? Can I meet her? Can I play with her…?”

“Not today, she’s at her granny’s house, may be Sunday, when your School’s off. Now come on, I’m getting late, I’ll drop you home after completing few chores”

“Okay brother”

“And don’t call me brother, I’ve a name you know” he said winking. Giving him a confused smile, Ishita sat in his car.

The guy stopped at hardware store, at medical shop and started driving  towards the highway, looking at her watch Ishita said, “Brother, I’m sorry but I’m getting late, you can continue with your chores, I’ll take a cab from here..”

“Just 15 minutes more baby girl, I’ve to drop these medicines to my daughter’s granny and then I’ll drop you”

“Oh okay” Ishita felt embarrassed because he was trying to help her and she was being rude,”may be I’ll see her today”.

“Yes, of course you can see her today” he said stopping the car outside an old building. “Come, it will take five minutes here”

Ishita left her bag in the car and started climbing the stairs behind him. She wondered why do people live in buildings old and disastrous like this one. Even before the guy knocked, door to one flat opened and a lady came out. She looked Ishita in a way which made her uncomfortable.

“Ignore her, she’s the house maid, come inside” He said entering and Ishita followed him and as soon as she entered the flat, she noticed it was empty with just one old bed lying in the centre of the room.

As she turned around to ask the guy what was happening, she saw him locking the main door. She started walking towards him,” what are you doing brother….?” He slapped her hard on her face, “I am not your brother.”

When Ishita started crying out of fear, he came close to her, said sorry “I want to go home, please drop me home or let me go” she said struggling to come out of his embrace.

“Not so soon baby girl, you and I have some chores to do, together. If you help me, it will be easier for both of us; otherwise I’ll have to do it alone.” He said ripping off her shirt.

Scared, shouting and crying Ishita slapped him, she tried to push him off but the guy slapped her again and pushed her on the floor. He slapped her again and kept his hand on her mouth.

“Shout as much as you want baby girl, there’s no one in this building.” To her horror, Ishita realised the building was in fact empty and it was in middle of a highway, she knew no one would hear her screams now.

Ishita fought as her hard as she could, she punched the guy, scratched him with her tiny nails but nothing helped her. Her loud screams went unheard, her tears dried and her pain went unnoticed by the monster who was on top of her.

After an hour, when the guy let go of her, she was crying and shivering in pain. He said, “Don’t even think of telling it to anyone, I’ve videotaped everything that happened in this room, I’ll release it online if you say anything. You know what will happen to your parents and family? You came here by your own will and no one will believe you, I’ll say you are my girlfriend” Laughing hysterically, he slapped her again and  asked her to dress up.

“I’ll drop you to the mechanic and from now, if you don’t listen to what I say or give me what I ask for, you know what can I do, baby girl” he said, pushing her in the back seat of his car and closing the door.

As he opened the front door, looking at his watch,he said “you know, your scooter will take another half an hour to get repaired, let me make it upto you” and he came back next to her in the back seat, slapped her while removing her trousers. Keeping one of his hand on Ishita’s face, he slapped her again, ” why are you bleeding so much bitch, you spoiled my car seats and my new shirt, get dressed up whore, I’ve work to do”.

He dropped her to the mechanic, Ishita drove home shivering and crying. She went into her room, took a shower and went into her bed, she was still crying and trying to absorb everything that happened in last few hours, she didn’t know if she was dreaming or if something like that actually happened to her. Her parents were not home yet and she didn’t know what to do, she was bleeding badly, her stomach ached and every part of her body was shivering.

When her parents came home, she was sleeping, when her mother came to wake her up, she noticed all of Ishita’s toys packed in a cardboard box. “Ishita, get up beta, why are you sleeping at this time of evening, why are your toys packed? Is everything ok?” Her mother asked, concerned.

“Yes maa, I’m fine. I’m a grown up now, I got the scooter repaired by myself today and I’m tired of dragging it for too long, please let me sleep” Ishita said thinking that if she told anything to her parents, their life will be destroyed too and she didn’t want that for them.

When Ishita got up the next morning, she saw the box of her toys still lying next to her bed. Looking at them, she realised how she played with her toys, she made them sit or sleep as she willed, she slapped her teddy bear when it failed to keep still on her swing set.

The SMS alert in her mobile popped and it was from the guy. Picking up the toy box, she kept it outside her room, there was no need of more than one toy in her life now. The toy she will not love anymore, the toy which she won’t play with, the toy that she had become.

Thoughts & more

After my relationship of five years ended with a boom almost a year and half ago, I’ve been approached by many men. I am not praising myself but I never had any idea that so many people still found me attractive in that shabby avatar that I chose to be in. For those five years, I had my heart and soul invested in just one man and never did it came to my mind that I’ll have to move from him. But as life had other plans, I moved on from that near death experience heart break. It wasn’t easy but it wasn’t impossible too, I realised that late and everyday I remind myself of all the good that has happened to me after that relationship ended.

Now coming back to my present, life has become harder. Too many men around showing interest in me isn’t a good thing for me personally! No, I’m not blinded by choice or not happy with that. I’m in more pain than I experienced in my heart break, I am put to test everyday, I’m judged by my past everyday. I’m expected to invest my everything all over again without getting anything in return. I’m expected to be loyal from day one without even a hint of commitment from the other end. And what surprises me is that I don’t even mind getting hurt. I become loyal for somebody who’s only intention is to be with me momentarily!

What loyalty am I talking about here? Loyal about thinking of investing my time in that person, loyalty about giving my best to that person, loyalty about thinking of future with that person, loyalty about adjusting my present with that human being. What goes wrong with each and every one I think can be that part of my life is me being loyal too soon. If I get a proposal today from someone I’m interested in, I’ll become 100% honest with that person without even them knowing that or them even doing that for me.

I sometimes miss my old relationship just because it had love, trust and immense care for eachother. What went wrong doesn’t concern things anymore, my future doesn’t depend on what went wrong with me in past. But my present makes me miss my past because no matter how badly things ended, I never had to prove my worth or my loyalty.

Now, although people aren’t loyal to me anymore, they still approach me for marriage. Their hidden intentions, if any, hurt me but I keep quite because I know it would not matter to them. I’ve become so suspicious about people having bad intentions about me that any loyal man, if any (which I don’t trust there is) will not be able to convince me.

And honestly, at this point, I really don’t think anyone is even interested in me, as a human. For men, I’ve become an entity who can be talked into having sex and nothing more than that. No I’m not sleeping around with anyone but the intentions come out the way people talk to me after I talk to them nicely.

Humanity and hospitality or even genuineness is getting over everyday. I feel that, experience that every day! Love, for this generation has become a taboo. Caring for anyone has become uncool. People don’t like to invest their time and feelings on anyone. They have two things left to offer now, their fake lifestyle and their body. Anything new that they offer is either due to pressure or guilt.

I still have too many men trying to woo me their money, cars, parties and their advertising on how good they can be in bed. I don’t need any of that, I’m a self sufficient woman who can earn and love myself. But as a human, I do need a man who loves me and cares about me, I don’t demand cars, money or sex! I need love, cuddles and time, which sadly no man on this Earth has. All of them have their greed, ego and fake pride to satisfy.

How long can you satisfy yourself with your fake life isn’t a topic I should think on! It’s a question you need to ask yourself so that you don’t lose on a girl (not me) who was capable of maintaining and managing the entire show, that’s your life!

Leave your fake pride, go and hold to that one person who’s ready to invest in you, go and hold their hands, invest time in them and love them for who they are, not who you expect them to be!

Love doesn’t knock on our doors everyday, people who really care for you are rare. The people who fail in sustaining that love like me, struggle with maintaining their respect everyday in a society where sex is the only thing people need. And trust me, the world isn’t a good place to be in without a human genuinely loves and cares for you. Hate all you want, pretend to be as feelingless as you can be, at the end, your money won’t matter over your fake life!

💝

To the guy I fell in love with,

I wasn’t looking for love when you came into my life. I was trying to settle in my life, struggling everyday to understand the directions. Talking to you made me realise that I was important too. With you I experienced too much in very less time. You made me feel like a teenager and an old woman too, together we experienced midlife crisis without even knowing what is it about.

Unknowingly I found a friend in you without even trying. Talking to you made me feel myself and I no longer cared about words that came out of my mouth. With you, my soul got naked, each and every thought that came to my mind just came out and surprisingly you understood everything.

We were never meant to fall in love but thats what life is about, I did fall for you, very hard and trust me when I say this, I tried my best to stop that, but that’s how it works, I guess. You fall in love with someone you least expect and at a place where you wouldn’t want to go!

Loving you taught me a lot about myself and I changed as a person. I’m thankful that I never got the love I wanted from you, sounds stupid but yes, this is what I think! After certain failed relationships I still trusted the thing called “love”, I still believed life will be back to normal sooner or later.

But my feelings for you showcased me a different kind of love! The disgusting feeling for someone who doesn’t know your importance and your emotions getting churned every single day-all time. My friend, you are a darling person anyone can ask for, but you failed my love! You were my last chance at love and I failed in that miserably. I can’t blame you for that and I won’t blame you ever!

But I think I should be thankful to you for being unavailable emotionally and keeping your feelings shut! I learnt a lot from the hurt I experienced while trying to open your mind, I failed in that but I passed in handling my emotions! You always wanted me to control my emotions, now here I am, I’m in so much control on them that I’ve forgotten how it feels to fall in love or to be loved by someone.

I’ve become numb, I don’t get attracted or attached to people, neither friends nor family! I’ve detached myself from everything and everyone. And trust me, I love being like that. People might think I’ve lost my mind but I’ve just protected myself from the hurt and emotions that follow! I’ve saved myself from everything that has a possibility of hurting me or disturbing my emotional sanity.

Even after changing myself, a part of me loves you! Love doesn’t mean I want to be with you or anything like that! I love you for changing me, I love you for saving me, I love you for hurting me, everything made me stronger than I could’ve imagined.

I’m glad I gave last chance to “love” at a place where I became mature. I’m happy in my own space. I do crave love, care, hugs and other things like that but these things are as valueless as my love has always been. Love isn’t pure, love isn’t patient and feelings aren’t important! Money matters, society matters, career matters, everything that’s materialistic matters and I believe very firmly in all these things now. And I’ll never have enough words to thank you enough for updating my operating system according to today’s world!

It doesn’t matter who my first love was, you my friend, will always be the last man I loved freely like a child and gave everything to in faith!

Lots of love

🌹

“Rae, are you sure about it?”, the voice from the other end of the phone speaks.

“Never been more sure of anything else. Let it be a surprise. Don’t tell him that I am going to be his date. Just ask him to meet his blind date at 5 pm near the park bridge. Will you? “, I ask excitedly.

“Yeah. Hey, you guys will be okay again. Bye.”

I end the call and look at the mirror. I was going to meet him after three months. I wear his favourite- peach dress and a red lipstick. The thought of meeting him gave me butterflies.

It is weird. He is my bestfriend. There was a time when I used to cry like a baby on his shoulder and blow my nose on his shirt after my breakups. We used to laugh about each other’s flings and sing “Bang bang” aloud by Lost Generation. And today, today I am going to tell him that I love him. I am blushing thinking of a guy who has only embarrassed me in front of my parents telling them how I pass out every Saturday night after drinking too much. But the weirdest part is he was here all this while, why didn’t I ever notice him?

I reach near the bridge and get out of my car. The sky was a tinge of lilac and golden mixed with blue. The wind was blowing gently, flipping my hair. I purchased a bunch of colorful balloons and two choc-top ice creams.

My phone beeped.

“Hello. I am here. Where are you, Miss?”, the other voice asks.

“I will be there in a minute.”, I reply in my fake heavy tone.

I walk up to the bridge where he is standing facing the opposite direction. I hug him tightly from behind and he startles.

“Rae? What you doing here?”

“What? You were heartbroken since three months so I thought it’s time when you are back in the game. I am here as your date.”, I chuck.

“Rae, you left me heartbroken three months ago. I told you how much I loved you but you said you need time to think. I didn’t bother you. I thought I lost you.”

I look at his scared, but contended little face. He smells of good times and happiness.

“That night when you whispered I love you for the first time, I was surprised. I knew all your heart but how didn’t I know about this? How did this one little thing escape me? I wanted to hold you and pat your head but I was afraid. Losing my bestfriend for the sake of dating isn’t something I shall ever agree to. I wanted to go away and watch if abandoning you would let my fears abandon me. And they did. There came a time when I realised maybe I loved you from day one but I have a stupid brain. And all this time, I missed your stories and crackles and warm hugs. I am sorry that I took so long to return. I was struck.”

” I kept wondering what I did wrong. I felt like I lost you. There were days when my heart ached to listen your laugh and sleep on your lap, holding you tight. But there was nobody left to listen me anymore.”, he mumbled softly.

“Keep talking then.”, I whisper.

“I c-can’t. You want to talk?”, he asks.

I caress my hands on his hair while the wind continues to blow hard.

“Don’t hush, maybe?

Keep talking tonight.

It’s been a while since I have heard you.

I saw you standing under the lilac sky.

Your lips curled,

your eyes haul a thousand questions.

You walk up to me and asked if I wanted to talk.

Nah,

I want to listen tonight.

I want to listen the loud thumping of your heart

When you come closer.

I want to listen the deafening silence

Between the breaks we take.

I want to see you sigh

And predict the state of your mind.

I want to look at you while you watch the stars

And talk with dreamy eyes.

I want to hear those unspoken thoughts

While you mumble and suddenly stop.

I want to catch you crying

While you struggle to hold on.

I want to feel the goosebumps you get

While you touch me by mistake.

I want to see you choke

While you congest yourself with the burden of a “I love you”.

I want to hear you,

Hear you stuttering your goodbye.

I want to see if you can watch me go by.

I want to hear the scratch,

The scratch of a “D-Do-don’t go”.

I want to run back

And kiss your lips while they enchant my name.

I want to keep you,

Keep you until you know we’re great.

So don’t stop and stay.

So don’t hush, please?

Keep talking tonight.”, I whisper struggling to not stammer.

He holds me tight and kisses my forehead.

“Don’t ever leave me next time. Don’t be struck the next time because I love you so much. I can’t handle the thought of you not being with me because if a day goes by without talking to you, that day is a huge waste.”, he mutters.

“You won’t lose me, I promise. Never again.”, I whisper in his chest, hugging him tightly.

……

Dear Future

A heartfelt letter for someone who loves me (a general blog post, not related to any specific person). Thank you for creating a space for me in your heart!

It's easy to get attracted to someone, it's easier to fall in love. Important and the most difficult task is to stay in that love long enough for it to survive. Love in our generation is not easy. We are from the generation who still believes in old school love but is scared to admit that because the generation just after us is all cool and believe in not giving a shit about others. Unconsciously we are all trying to impress that cool generation who lacks both, value and substance within them! I'm not saying everyone is like that but you all know what kind of people am I talking about.

Somehow, if you have managed to stay in love for sometime now, I'm happy and proud. It's not a cake walk to love someone, specially if they aren't your family. We love our friends but I'm talking about romantic love here, just that. The process of falling in love is strange, you know all the flaws of the person and you still develop some emotions for them.

I'm a girl who has lots of flaws, trust me when you say no to this, I know myself better than you, you can't see them or you chose to ignore them because you love me. But I'm not perfect! I make a lot of mistakes, if you are my friend you know most of them probably. Without exaggerating anything, I want to tell you that I've seen too much of chaos in a very small age, I've experienced much more pain than others and I've also learned a lot! But that doesn't mean I'll be perfect or even a good life partner, I'll still be the girl who makes mistakes and learn from them.

My way of dealing with situations may differ from you but that doesn't mean either of us are wrong. Life is about maintaining the balance between the lines! I've failed in that too but trust me, I tried my best to maintain the balance and I still trust me that I'll give my best in maintaining that balance. It's upto you to trust me or not. I respect everyone who respects me and go out of the way to be with someone I love.

Have faith in me and be patient with me, though I'm strong, my trust has been shaken, my love has been insulted and my emotions have been killed. A part of me which loved freely like a baby, died with the situations I've been through. I still have love in me, I just don't have the courage to invest in emotions. I want to but I'm scared. I want your help to come out of my agony, I've helped myself a lot and I've recovered a lot, but a part of me need you to be there for me and love me patiently till I get on my feet again! I hope you will understand me and accept me for who I am, like I'm trying to accept you, as you are.

I know I'm very lucky that you fell in love with me but trust me, I'll be the luckiest girl on planet when I get to spend my life with someone like you.

Closure- A story 

Sitting at the bar stool on a lazy Wednesday afternoon, she saw him entering the smoking zone with a man.  It had been three years since the “made for eachother-perfect couple” broke up. Everyone was shocked as Akash vanished from the social circle, Jia had no answers for anyone on what happened to him. He left his job, changed his contact details. It appeared that he never existed in anyone’s life. Jia, who knew about his condition, kept quiet till the time she could but the societal pressure and worry for Akash’s future, made her tell his friends the truth about his sudden disappearance. 


Akash had a great loss in business and lost a lot of money, he was so affected by the loss that not even Jia’s love helped him recover. And when Jia brought him help from his friends, he vanished from her life too. All that, when they were supposed to get married in few months. 

Jia, who was head over heels in love with Akash was devastated. She didn’t disappear on the social circle, people asked her about the reason for break up and when she said she didn’t know why her fairytale ended, people assumed her to be the bad woman, because Akash chose to abandon her without any reasonable explanation.

She was broken, depressed and heartbroken. She called him thousands times a day, messaged him and mailed him but all her attempts fell on deaf ears. She didn’t understand if she should be angry, upset, worried, wait for him to call or just move on. But life, as they say never stops for anyone or anything. Jia too moved on with a lot of unanswered questions in her heart. Akash never called her.

Now, after three years he was in front of her. She noticed he still had a boyish grin and the same muscular body, may be with lesser hair on his head. 

Jia had tears in her eyes, she couldn’t decide if she was happy to see him alive or angry for what he did. She remembered all the sleepless nights they spent embraced in eachother’s arms, all the happy moments that they spent planning their future, all the fights they had with eachother and others. 

She remembered the last time she spoke to him, Jia was studying for her competitive exams when Akash suffered a huge loss in the business. She helped him get his job back but Akash never showed up at the office. A day prior to her exam,Akash asked her to visit him as he was depressed. Jia, who had been traveling a lot because of Akash’s depression issues, refused to travel because of exam she considered was important for their future. They had an argument about it and Akash never spoke to her again.

She made a thousand scenarios in her head, what would have happened if she had left her exam and just visited him. What if Akash never invested in his business or what if he took his job back. So many scenarios and so many questions that were left unanswered.

Now, she had the man who could answer all her questions, in front of her eyes. All she had to do was to go upto him and ask him why he did, what he did. Her heartbeat was rising continuously, she started sweating profusely and everything in front of her eyes became disillusioned. She only came back in her senses when the bartender asked if she wanted her order to be repeated.

She tried to speak but words didn’t come out of her mouth, Jia shook her head in a no, kept the amount equal to her bill at the table and got down from her stool, somehow she didn’t want to talk to Akash again.

Turning towards the exit,she saw Akash standing near the exit looking at her. Their eyes met and Jia broke down. She didn’t know when Akash came and hugged her or when they sat down on the sofa in the corner of the bar. When she stopped crying Akash was sitting next to her holding her hands. She removed her hands from his, straightened her posture and looked him in the eyes. 

“I am sorry”, Akash said looking on the floor, he sounded low to her but she just replied, “It’s ok” with no expressions on her face, she was looking straight into his eyes. 

Akash was surprised with her reply, “Is that it? Don’t you want to know what happened? Don’t you want to know why stopped talking to you suddenly? Don’t you feel anything? Don’t…” 

Jia cut him short,”How does it matter three years later Akash? Where were you when I needed all the answers? You didn’t thought I was important enough to know what happened then, why suddenly now? I wouldn’t have known anything, if we hadn’t crossed path today”.

Akash had no reply, his head was hanging in shame, Jia only felt that he was pretending. Jia continued, “I had started shopping for our wedding Akash, you were supposed to join your job back, we were supposed to earn together and make our fairytale complete.” 

“Jia, I know you did what you wanted to, you tried to support, you fought because you cared, you told people thinking they could help but no one did, in that phase I didn’t make the right decisions and you too left, I know you called and messaged but I didn’t wanted that then, I just wanted you to hug me, but your exams were more important for you and….”

“Akash, don’t you dare say I left you, you never replied to my calls or messages. Just because I couldn’t travel, you blame me for leaving, you know how hard it is for someone to know that they are trying their best to help the person they love but they also know that whatever they do might fall short of”.
“Jia, you knew my mental condition…”

“This conversation can go on forever Akash, and I don’t want to have this now, after years of uncertainty. I’m not angry, I’m not sad and I’m not in love with you. You had reasons to leave me without any answers, I do not want them now”. 

No one said anything for a while and the silence grew comfortable. Both had so much to talk about but none had the heart to speak. Jia didn’t know about Akash, but she wanted to hug him, cry and make things as they were. That’s what her heart said but she didn’t want that. It took her a lot of time and effort to cope up from depression. No matter how much she try, she will never ever forget what she had been through. She had moved on and her life was different now.

Wiping tears of her face, as she stood up, Akash said “Jia.. can we please give this thing another chance!?” Searching for something in her purse, Jia gave Akash a kiss on cheeks, forehead and a peck on the lips. She hugged him as tightly as she could.

Akash was happy, as he thought his Jia was back. She gently caught hold of his hand and gave him back the ring he gave her as a sign of their love.

 “Take care Akash, I forgive you and will forget everything. But I’ll never be able to forget what I forgave. Hope you will forgive me too. Have a good life ahead..!” Jia said turning towards the exit. 

She didn’t wait to hear Akash’s reply because sometimes if you want a closure, you have to shut the door! 

Growth

You know, growth is a mess! But did anyone get a choice? No. It’s a process that can be ignored but it will still continue, as if , it doesn’t give a damn about you. It’s natures way of telling you , your forefathers fucked up horribly by inventing everything around!

Like seriously, what was the need for them to invent anything about everything that we have around us? They should have been happy sitting under the trees, doing nothing and enjoying their entire lives!
But no, some idiot had an extra brain!

Think about it, what do we, as a common man/woman, wish for? That we can have a life where we can relax , under a tree or a beach and have food we love, for entire life! That’s what they did in earlier age!

So, what exactly went wrong!? No one, let me tell you, not even one person on this planet, can answer that! And why?
Because, no one really ever bothered to think about it! Why would they, I mean, according to everyone, life was getting really easy with all the inventions happening around.

And why exactly this barter system was replaced by coins and papers, we call currency. No one knows that either! I know, I studied about barter system and everything in school, but why was the logic even applied. People were still happy, doing almost nothing and still enjoying food!

With the invention of currency, things were to become even more complicated, but did anyone bother to think about that? I don’t see any records in history, science and mythology.

So basically, everyone was happy with everything happening around. The words “progress” “development” and even more difficult words became the most imperative of all.

So, good, we grew, developed, our lives became comfortable beyond imaginations. We earned, earned and just earned.

For what? Just to pay for a holiday , once in a while. To where? Somewhere on a beach or between the trees!

That’s great, right? We humans,the most intelligent of all the beings, did everything just for enjoying the things which were given to us free of cost and without any conditions!

But as I said, growing up, for u, me and this earth , is, was and will be out of choice! Why? Because no one, exactly no one gave a damn, that time too! So why bother now!!

Competition!

I’m in competition with no one.. I’m not in hurry to reach somewhere.. My dream is not see the world or reach the highest position in any company.. I have my own world, which I’m trying to make perfect.. Do not judge me or anyone.. Everyone’s priority in life is different.. A beggar’s goal is to earn only the amount he can eat food for.. A millionaire wants to buy all the expensive cars.. A middleman wants to marry of his kids or buy a house.. People of my age.. They have different choices.. Some want to fly.. Some want to start own business.. Some want to study the hell out of every university and some just want to cook and click their own pictures, showing off the world about how cool and easy their life is.. But on a serious note.. No one cares.. Not a single person except your mother father and beloved.. No one gives a damn about where in the world you are, what you eat, what you eat, what clothes you like to wear and what is the new expensive thing you bought.. We all are busy in our own little world.. Trying to make it perfect.. Our priorities are different.. We think differently.. I’ll just open my Facebook page and like first 5-6 posts from people in my friends list, for some who were, in some age, best friend “forever” are knowingly being ignored for some or other reason.. Some are just there because we hate them and want to hate them some more.. Some are there because of our X and Y’s.. Whatever the reason is.. We are all a part of each other’s life and it’s not easy.. Seeing someone’s child being born when you had a death of closed ones or a friend getting married while you are having your 5-6th break up.. U might be married and living a life of royals but someone you know might be working hard to get married.. It’s not easy.. People are rich than you and poor than you.. People might be happy than you or sad than you.. Just do not judge people on what’s uploaded on Facebook. You have a life and a world of your own.. make it perfect the way you can.. don’t copy someone who has a complete different life.. No one will give a damn about their pic or food or clothes or cars after a comment or two because they have their own struggles to deal with.. Just be happy with your life.. Let self obsessed people be happy in their world.. Don’t get scared of their little show off life.. Things aren’t what they seem to be.. No one is perfect.. Neither is life.. Nobody’s life.. So.. Make internet a part of your life, don’t make your life a part of internet! Because no one gives a damn like you.. Yes you! The one who read this shit completely. Thank you 🙂

The first one!

Hi there, the readers of my blog, actually the “first” blog I hope I’ll not delete.
I say I love writing but nowhere I have the proof that I have actually written something in real! That’s where all my problems begin! I write stuff and delete it because I’m (was) scared of being judged by what I write! You know all that” what kind of thinking I have and stuff!”.
My parents don’t know about this interest of mine! Also, the career I have chosen takes a lot of time and energy but I can’t use that as an excuse! Can I? (Please) Recently I read a lot of blogs by the fellow crew members and that is what has encouraged me to begin with this writing stuff, again!!!

Hence, all said and done! I’m trying and I will try to continue this blog! Hope to see you readers more often!
PS- Don’t forget to smile before you sleep!!! 🙂